Beauty Is Magic

What’s your perception of beauty? How do you define it?

Is it limited to thin young women with glowing skin; fancy sports cars; and an exquisitely dressed fashionista?

To ask a tired question, what’s hot and what’s not?

I asked my new friend Paula if she wanted me to discuss anything in particular on here, and she mentioned society’s definition of beauty. In her exact words, “I am very interested in the way we as a society perceive beauty especially feminine beauty. As an artist I see beauty in just about anything and feel we have lost the richness that life has to offer.”

My response? “Now that’s some poetic expression. I can totally relate to what you’re saying and also feel we need to expand our perception of feminine beauty. It has nothing to do with our body measurements and/or sense of fashion; it has to do with our hearts and our souls and all the MAGIC we have to share with the world.”

I said that because beauty based on appearance alone is fleeting and shallow. I don’t care how skinny you are or how many designer brands you rock on a daily basis; if your inner self is ugly, your outer beauty is hard and bitchy. 

So, what’s hot and what’s not?

The Bonds Between You and I

Sometime ago, I found  myself struggling with feeling unworthy and below par compared to my peers and role models. A constant loop of negativity and self-criticism  kept playing in my head until I was ready to scream my heart hoarse just to ease the pain and silence the bullying (because that’s what it really is).

So instead, I decided to write affirmations of how I wanted to feel, of what I believed to be true even though my lizard brain tried to convince me otherwise.

I share them with you today because everyone gets stuck in a rut sometimes. Everyone feels down and lagging behind on what they can/should/ought to have done or accomplished, and we’re all missing one truly important thing: WHAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW? 

Most of our angst stems from being stuck in the past or fretting hard about the future.

So today, right here, right now, take this moment to be present right where you are. Get out of your head and into your heart. Break free of the blame game and regret and lift your head up to the sky. As you do so, remember:

You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are enough. You are strong. You are capable. You are able. You are. You are.

True Intimacy

It’s deeper than the physical or verbal. It’s deeper than courtship + romance. It goes waay beyond pretty words and expansive gestures.

True intimacy is a mood. A vibe. A feeling.

It’s the freedom to strip away all barriers and pretence and just be who you are in a safe space. No judgements. No repercussions. Nothing but love for + acceptance of your person, your heart, your spirit.

It’s sacred. It’s vital. In its purest form, it’s heaven.

Soul Juice

What lights you up? What completes you? What spurs you to live fully and ecstatically as you centre yourself in the present and bubble with possibility?

Your answer = your soul juice.

There’s currently a lot of talk about self-care, being good to yourself, and acknowledging your achievements even as you strive for more; about looking in the mirror and smiling at what you see. Why? Because doing all those things jazzes up the soul and fuels your engine like you wouldn’t believe. Truth.

Interestingly, though, it’s all too easy to fall into toxicity and self-flagellation. “I shouldn’t have done that. Why did I do that? I’m such a dumbass, I can’t ever get it right.”

We berate ourselves when things go wrong, and out of a misguided sense of modesty, don’t take nearly enough credit when things do go right. After all, isn’t it uncool to blow your own trumpet and tell the world just how magnificent you are?

Living Beyond Your Past

Who you were back then is not who you are right now.

You are wiser now. Braver. Stronger.

There’s nothing to gain from repeatedly crucifying yourself for past mistakes and bad experiences. So you did, said, or allowed something you shouldn’t have. You messed up and it was BAD. Fair enough, we’ve all been there.

I just have one question: why are you still visiting that hurtful and embarrassing place?

Maybe you haven’t worked through it yet. Maybe there’s a lesson yearning to be learned. Maybe you’re yet to forgive yourself or whoever’s responsible. Maybe you feel such forgiveness isn’t an option.

 Whatever the case, it’s imperative to be aware of the reasons behind your actions. How can you outgrow your past if you don’t know why you’re still holding on in the first place? How can you “let it go” while unable to discern a tight grip like your life depended on it? How can you break free if you don’t realise your captivity?

There are no quick fixes, no speedy cures. Nobody knows how long it will take to cleanse your system and free your space for positive energy. We do know, however, that whatever has happened TO you is nowhere near as powerful as what can happen FOR you. Facing what has come before will determine how you experience what can happen from now on. Work through it and open yourself up to feel and do and be so much more.

Freedom begins with intention. It continues with affirmative action. It culminates in definitive resolution.

You have to love yourself enough to stand tall and stop being a victim. Living in the past just keeps you trapped in the familiar and tricks you into believing there’s nothing beyond the narrow confines of the particular burden(s) you bear. But there is. There IS.

Choose to evolve rather than remain stagnant. Let a new beginning replace the same old ending. Grow with grace into mercy and redemption. Treat your past as a lesson, not a blueprint for your present + future. We remain as we choose to be, and we can choose the ability to stand tall in spite of what has happened to us. 

You can choose to free yourself from the shame and jettison the pain. You can decide to fashion a new way of life for yourself and be healthier, stronger. You can live beyond your past when you leave it behind you and centre yourself in this present moment. Right here. Right now. This very moment. And the next, and the next. Life can be beautiful if you let it. 🙂

Pull the Lever

via Amber White’s post

There are times when life is like a freight train hurtling along at full speed, keeping us rushed off our feet and leaving us frantic. We feel things are out of control and are easily overwhelmed or discouraged by challenges that seem impossible to handle or overcome.

Psst. That’s your cue to pull your emergency lever.

You are always in the driver’s seat. You decide exactly how much you let in and how much you keep out. You run the show. You ARE the boss.

Decide

You hate me when I’m here
Want me when I’m gone
Pull me in, push me away
The joy we once had is now grey

Claim I don’t love you
Say I’m not who you want or need
So leave me to find someone warm and true
But you won’t let go ’cause of your greed

You want it all, the world at your feet
I am a precious woman, not some symbol or meat
You cannot cage me, make me a possession
I am more than that, free of your oppression.

Amor Vincit Omnia

That’s Latin for “Love conquers all”. I believe it is often true. Often, not always. There are deal breakers that leave no room for love to survive or thrive. You know, physical assault, infidelity, acidic words, warped dispositions; just a few reasons why all bets are off when it comes to the shelf life of certain relationships.

I recently reread a novel that made me think about the things we put up with in the name of love. A couple were deeply in love, blissfully happy and actually soul-mates. BUT. The man regularly paid for sex. Exactly. When he was found out he said it didn’t mean anything, he was just being a bloke and blokes can divorce sex from love, lots of men do it and it doesn’t make him a bastard. I’m like really? REALLY? I have never heard such lame bullshit. Tosser. Clear case of trying to have his cake and eat it too. I mean he was in a long-term relationship but still patronised hookers? Seriously? What a douchebag. Needless to say, his girlfriend gave him his marching orders with immediate effect. I guess some might forgive if he stops, or if they feel the love is worth preserving at all costs. Maybe. I don’t know anybody who’d stay with such a man, though.

Is it possible to be in love with a particular person and still have sex with anyone other than that person? I say no, it is not. I do not understand how one can profess to truly love another yet be able to sleep with a different partner (or partners, as the case may be). The only way it makes sense is if you’re not with the one you love. I mean, what can you really do in such a situation right? Otherwise though, it just doesn’t fly. It’s a question of discipline, monogamy, principles. People can theorise as much as they like and come up with all sorts of creative excuses, but at the end of the day it comes down to one simple fact: once you give your heart to another, you cannot cheapen/abuse that sacred act by spreading yourself around. It’s called making love for a reason, yo.

Unfinished

Here’s the thing about unfinished business: it won’t go away until you wrap it up. It doesn’t matter how much you wish you could sweep it under the rug, let it go, ignore it, whatever; you simply have to handle your business before you can rest easy. Explains why we like to have closure, yes? Indeed. One cannot hope to move on without laying ghosts/doubts to rest. Should you go on that date? Maybe you ought to consider relocating? Is it time to switch careers? Those are just a few questions you really cannot answer without doing something about them, and if you try to suppress those thoughts you’re just setting yourself up for constant worrying/anxiety. The only way to know if you’re doing the right thing is to do it and damn the consequences. I think. 🙂

You know, it’s funny. Before I spread the word about my blog, I didn’t hesitate to say what I really, really thought because it was fairly anonymous and hey, not like my readers knew my identity. These days, though, I find myself tiptoeing on eggshells because I am wary of offending my friends. Sigh. That’s the thing about knowing that a fair slice of your audience knows you, you aren’t so quick to run your mouth or be disparaging about people even though you’d love to gossip once in a while. 😦 Not damaging gossip, just stuff that boggles my mind. Relating some events can be negative though, so I guess it’s not such a big loss.

Anyway, I have decided to be unflinchingly honest on this forum. Some of my posts just scratch the surface and don’t truly qualify as the musings of my soul. I mean they’re not that deep, you know? Not like I’m some sage or anything. Yet. 😛 Seriously though, I know I have held back because I’m uneasy baring my soul to cyberspace. But that’s the whole point of having a blog, innit? It’s mine. My voice, my expression, my outlet.

Art is my craft. My expression is art. Love is my passion. I am here to speak my truth and if that rubs you the wrong way, tough. Ha ha, how modest right? So I’m going to call it like I see it for real, no holding back. I hope y’all can take it.

The Masks Within

We are more complex than one might ever fully appreciate. Our thoughts and desires are not necessarily on display for others to notice, or even for we ourselves to realise. It is possible for our external attitude and manner to be in discord with our inner mind scape, not simply mere discord but serious disharmony.

The masks within conceal our true natures not only from the observer’s eye, but from our own perceptions as well. Sometimes we don’t want to face or acknowledge what we feel, what we want, what we need, what we desire. Sometimes the maintenance of a projected self-image becomes more important than its personal fulfilment, which in turn necessitates the cultivation of a more private persona that achieves what the public image cannot.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how often we have dual identities: the public and the private. They’re not always the same, are they? Additionally, total self-knowledge isn’t always welcome or embraced unless absolutely necessary. Why do we shy away from peering into the furthest reaches of our inner selves? The possibility of uncovering unpleasant or disturbing truths, I guess.

The masks within. Evocative wordplay, no?