Was I Wrong?

12 Mar

Was I wrong to try, to believe? Was it folly to think we could ever be? I sit here and wonder if I’m the only one wanting what could, what should have been. We were fated for each other! Well, that’s what I thought for many years. Looks like I was wrong about that too. *Shrug* So what else is new?

I tell myself I’m not waiting anymore, try to accept that it’s time to move on and forget you, but I can’t do it. I just can’t. You’re always there. It doesn’t matter where I run or how hard I try to ignore it. You are right there under my skin: waiting, biding your time, safe in the knowledge that I can’t escape you. Or can I?

It’s just so frustrating not knowing how you really feel. I can only ask so many times, I mean it’s not like I ever get a clear answer or feel any better. Maybe it amuses you to treat me like a plaything, I don’t know. We’ve become strangers to one another and I’m struggling to adjust. How’d that even happen, anyway?

I ache for you. I long for you. But you’re poison in my system and I must, I must be free from this longing. I must be free of this pain. It would be easier if I could hate you but I can’t even do that. I can only love you from afar. That’s not enough anymore. So, what now?

I have done my time. I am tired. There’s no point, no reason to nurse hope. You have made your choice, now I must make mine. Once again, I’ll try to say goodbye. I’ll try to live as though a part of me isn’t missing, as if the void within doesn’t exist.

Anyway. My struggle continues. I don’t expect you to notice or care that I’m gone, don’t even expect you to want me. That time is past. Pity, really.

4 Responses to “Was I Wrong?”

  1. Dammie Thorpe 04/04/2011 at 20:03 #

    Sound like someone is out of love, but still in love. Seriously, we all get like this, but ur acceptance to move forward is what I like… Nice one. Glad u gave ur feelings a written expression, beautiful child.

  2. lusciouscurves 04/04/2011 at 22:05 #

    Thank you! 🙂 Ha ha ha ha, “beautiful child”. Love that phrase. Yeah well, love isn't always right or permanent. All part of life experiences, innit?


  1. Reader Response « Pearlescent Dew Drops - 14/05/2012

    […] Steve shared my pain in his reaction to Was I Wrong?: […]

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    […] Steve shared my pain in his reaction to Was I Wrong?: […]

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